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January 23rd, 2017    |    by Melissa Browne    |    No Comments

New Year New Me. Bollocks to That!

New year, new me. It’s the wish most new year’s resolutions are based upon. The desperate hope that when the clock ticks midnight we’ll be magically transformed and all the issues and baggage we carried with us in the previous year will be discarded. “New year, new me” we whisper to ourselves as the fireworks erupt as we hope desperately for this to be the year it happens for us. The year our relationship changes, our money problems disappear, our weight loss happens, our business turns around, our job becomes more fulfilling, we finally discover that pot of gold at the end of the rainbow.

New year, new me? I say bollocks to that!

Which might seem at first glance a strange thing to say. I mean, aren’t good intentions, well, good? Isn’t it a good thing to want to turn your business around, tolose weight, get fit, enjoy better relationships and a more fulfilling life?

Well, yes. But good intentions are no bettter than crossing your fingers behind your back and hoping really, really hard. Or wishing for a fairy godmother. Or a handsome prince. Or believing that the start of a new year will magically transform your life for the better.

It’s simply fantastical. Which is why I say bollocks to that.

Instead, I believe in embracing the courage it takes to make real change. To decide this is the year you’ll learn to stand, to walk, to run, to climb, to dance to paraphrase Nietzsche who went on to say. “After all, one cannot fly into flying.”

At the beginning of 2015 I decided I was done believing that who I was as an adult was it. I decided the self-sabotaging behaviour I carried out in areas of my life and how critically I dealt with myself was no longer OK. I decided I was going to finally have the courage to look at the mess and figure out what life would be like if I embraced all of who I was. Which meant acknowledging icky things like emotions and all that I have been through. Ugh. Give me a new year, new me any day!

So did all of these decisions mean I woke up on 2 January and it was done? Simply because I believed strongly enough? That the metamorphosis was complete and I was a new person? God, I wish that had been true but sadly no. Instead, almost two years later and after months and hours of work I can say that yes, those things I decided are coming true. I’ve started to embrace all of who I am. BIG warts and all.

Notice there was no new me. Instead, I’m more me. Which has meant embracing flaws, understanding conduct and learning how to live a full life which acknowledges all of the mess. To acknowledge self-sabotaging behaviour and to discover why I behave particular ways and importantly, how to change that behaviour. To go through months of coaching, hours of counselling, meditation, exercise, eating well and resting, understanding this makes me a better wife, friend, boss and entrepreneur. To finally recognise that although I’d desperately love the outcome to be a ‘new me’, sadly that won’t happen. D’oh! Instead, it’s  learning not to fight against who I am and instead to be real about my strengths and weaknesses and to work with them.

What about you? Yes it’s tempting to want to become a new you. But it doesn’t matter how many squats you do, how many dollars you save, how many dates you go on or how successful you are, it’s still going to be you. Instead, why not decide this year to embrace who you are and to live the best life you can with all that you are. Warts and all. Which takes so much more courage. Because if you want to run a better business it means facing up to who you are as a business owner and what your business is. If you wan to have better finances, it means understanding your relationship with money, acknowledging your behaviour and choosing to change what you’re doing.

It would be so easy to grab a magic wand and wave it but it’s just not real life. Why not instead choose this year to have the courage to make real change. Commit to whatever time frame it takes to do the work that you need to do. Then simply learn to stand, to walk to run, to climb, to dance and then one day, to fly.

It’s not too late. It doesn’t matter when you start. It just matters that you do.

Now repeat after me, “New year, new me? Bollocks to that!”

 

 

 

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