Uncensored Money Season Five: Mel talks Wellness with Jennifer Benfield
Melissa Browne: Ex-Accountant, Ex-Financial Advisor, Ex-Working Till I Drop, Now Serial Entrepreneur & Author, Financial Wellness Advocate, Living a Life by Design | 16/09/2024

Show Notes

What dragons have you had to slay in your life?

Each of us have faced different dragons, big and small, that we've come up against in our lives. Talking health, wellness, and thriving, Jennifer Benfield joins Mel this week to discuss the dragon that entered her life and forced her to reassess everything about the way she was living.

Tune into this episode of Uncensored Money for a discussion on health and wellness, and the impact every choice you make can have on your physical, mental, and financial health.

Books and resources mentioned in this episode

• My Financial Adulting Plan

If you're on insta, come play over at @MelBrowne.Money and make sure you’re signed up to Mel's Money Musings for more tips, tricks and ideas on how to best work with your money.

Finally, if you love this episode please make sure you subscribe and leave us a review.

Transcript

Mel: Hey everyone. I'm Mel Browne. I'm an ex-accountant and ex-financial advisor, so I have the theory, but I also have the life experience. I'm now financially independent in my own right after coming back from less than nothing in my early thirties. I want this podcast to be like a chat with your girlfriends about money. My aim is to help you discover why you're behaving the way you are with money, to suggest new ways you might behave that are a better fit for you, and to increase your financial literacy and financial confidence. I hope it inspires challenges, educates and empowers you with how you do money. So let's get into it. Welcome to Uncensored Money.

Mel: Jen Benfield is my guest today and we talk today about the dragon that she was forced to slay in her own life. Now, you may not have to slay the dragon that Jen did, but I know that you will have dragons in your own life.

Mel: And what happens is that we don't live in silos. So those things, those things that we are trying to deal with, they can infect all of our lives. During my chat with Jen, she talks about the four principles that she now lives with and that she teach others to live within in her business, Wiser & Well, I don't wanna give any more away. Instead, I hope that you enjoy, and if you wanna find out more about Jen and the work she does, make sure you head to the show notes. Jen, thank you so much for having a chat with me today. I am so excited to see where we end up. I'm sure it could be lots of different places. <laugh>.

Jen Benfield: <laugh> it sure will. And thank you so much for having me, Mel.

Mel: No, you're very welcome. But before we dive in, tell me a bit about your story and how you ended up doing what you do now.

Jen Benfield: Okay. Well, I founded my first business, which was called Conomos Corporate Marketing, CCM for short at 19. Oh wow. And I grew it into a multimillion dollar company over 20 years. So I was working with really top tier clients like Microsoft and Deutsche Bank. But the intense pressure led to burnout. Yeah. And after selling CCM, my family and I moved to New York. And unfortunately during that time I was diagnosed with an aggressive melanoma, which was terrifying. But it forced me to reassess everything and looked back at the last 20 years of what I'd been doing. So on returning to Australia to live, four years later, I was then diagnosed with stage four metastatic melanoma. And it had spread into my lung and kidney and I had about a 20 to 30% chance of survival. And as I went through the treatment and the recovery, I realized that while the medical profession was crucial in saving my life, it, it wasn't going to be the cure all I needed to truly heal.

Jen Benfield: And there was no magic pill for that. Mm-Hmm. So my journey really required a holistic approach that addressed not just the physical, but also the mind and spirit. Exactly what my new business Wiser & Well is all about. And the medical professionals were lifesaving and I'm incredibly grateful for their expertise. But true healing requires more than surgeries and drug treatments. So to fully recover and thrive, I had to surround the dragon, so to speak, and commit to doing everything I could to regain my health. And that meant focusing on nutrition, exercise, sleep, and having the kind of mindset that was going to sustain me through that. So they're all the pillars of Wiser & Well that I built my business upon. And so after going through stage four cancer, nothing is ever the same.

Mel: Mm-Hmm.

Jen Benfield: The experience taught me that with the right approach, not only can you recover, but you can also thrive in the new world you're creating.

Mel: Mm.

Jen Benfield: This holistic journey inspired me to create Wiser & Well, and it's really a performance based business that helps others achieve optimal health and unlock their full potential. So we focus on the whole person, mind, body, and spirit. 'cause that's what we're all about. Yeah. Because that's what it takes to show up as the best version of yourself and live a life that's full of energy and creativity and productivity and purpose really. Mm.

Mel: I really like that description of just surrounding the dragon. Yeah. So are you calling your cancer the dragon that you were having to surround? Or are you calling how you were pre that, the dragon that you were having to surround?

Jen Benfield: I think, I think a bit of both. Mel. I think with anyone who's gone through something as significant as that, and look, there's things that are relative. You know, people go through terribly difficult times in their life. It doesn't have to be cancer, it could be financial distress, it could be other things. Divorce. And we need to look at an approach that supports us fully. We can't just go out and thrash ourselves in the gym, so to speak. Yeah. Because we need the other things to support a true healing. We can't just go and eat all the bowls of broccoli and kale and whatnot and expect it to be a cure all as well. We need to have the mindset, the exercise, the nutrition, the sleep.

Mel: Yeah.

Jen Benfield: All of those things support our energy production, which then supports our willingness to want to go and do those healthy habits.

Mel: Yes. And it's interesting that you say that the dragon can be that for many different people. 'cause I was only having a conversation with a good friend today. We were comparing how we grew up and she was saying, oh, but you know, I didn't have what you went through. And I said, but that doesn't matter. And I feel like Jen, as we would all have our, we would as you say, all have our own version of the dragon whatever that looks like. Whether it's the stress of our mortgage, whether it's something our kids are going through at the moment, whether it's divorce or separation or whatever that thing is. But it's not about comparison. It's actually about, well for me, what is that for me? And how can I make sure that that's contained in my life? Do you see with what you do that there is that comparison that goes on where it's like, oh, you know, this isn't so bad, I should just get on with it. This person has it so much worse.

Jen Benfield: Yes. But I'm not sure that it's completely helpful or productive.

Mel: Oh Gosh. I don't think it is at all. <laugh>. Yeah.

Jen Benfield: Yeah. I think that comparison is really the death of a lot of creative ways of supporting ourselves. Agree. And sometimes we just gotta stay in our own lane and look after ourselves in the way that works for us. And that could be different for you. It could be different for me and what we need to really be able to drop into ourselves and work out what it is that is going to truly support us. And sometimes people just need the mindset part to get them going.

Mel: Yeah. Yep.

Jen Benfield: The mindset really is that thing that opens up like a key unlocking a door of enabling you to be able to have that growth mindset to work out different strategies of working out that problem, whether it's divorce, whether it's financial distress, whether it's something to do with the kids, whether it's cancer. We need to have that resiliency to be able to keep going because it's not often that quick fix.

Mel: Oh, absolutely. Yeah.

Jen Benfield: That magic pill that we're all looking for.

Mel: And it's like what you said

Mel: Approach before, it's that, you know, maybe if I just eat all the broccoli kale, this will be okay. But, and I see that a lot with finances as well. I see a lot of people following fads and looking for the magic bullet or the thing that will give them the quick fix when great finances are usually not about that at all. It's about the boring, it's about the consistent, it's about all these things that modern society have almost taught us is boring. You want the exciting thing. You want that thing that's gonna propel you when actually having that beautiful groundwork is so important when it comes to finances. Oh yes. Tell me, with what you do about the fads and quick fixes you'd like to most see banished <laugh>. Yes. That people are grabbing.

Jen Benfield: Absolutely. It's certainly the same here in the wellness world, Mel. We've all been guilty of it, haven't we? I mean, wanting to take that shortcut to get the maximum return on the investment. In the past I've fallen into the trap of wanting to drop weight to be skinny. But really true health is found in those daily boring habits, like you said, boring, much like adding to your savings account for the future. Just little bits every day all add up to these major transformations in time. It's like that old saying, people don't decide their futures, they decide their habits, and their habits decide their futures. It's in the day to day of, just like I say to my clients, it's just like brushing your teeth. It's just including these small things. And what I try to get them to do is to implement one small thing at a time and then stacking those one by one very, very slowly. Yeah. The fads that I am coming up against a lot, particularly with women in the 40 plus bracket, is fasting.

Mel: Ah, interesting. Okay. Yes.

Jen Benfield: Fasting is, um, certainly a strategy that people could use if they were having issues with obesity, type two diabetes, pcos, lots of other underlying health issues. But for the most part, fasting may not be a great thing for midlife women. They may be best to have three meals a day. Back to basics. Yeah. No snacking. Mm. That's where they get the most gains. Yeah. It's the boring basic things of having those three meals. It's starting your day with a very solid, balanced protein rich breakfast, which sets them up so that they don't have these massive blood sugar spikes. Mm-Hmm. <affirmative>. And they're not starving in an hour's time if they just order a bowl of cereal. And then having a decent lunch again with that protein focus with lots of vegetables, lots of fiber, and again, at dinner time. So lunch and dinner are very similar. And in between time having a break so that we have that rest and digest period for our gut so that it produces so much more energy for us as people. And trying to have those meals with say, a gap of three to four hours in between. And then once dinner is finished, kitchen closed. No more snacking afterwards. No. Sitting there with the chocolate, because let's face it, no one is having after dinner carrots and hums. Are they <laugh>?

Jen Benfield: It's often chocolate or ice cream or something like that. So yeah, I will say to people, just do those three meals and then close the kitchen off. That's it. Mm. Very basic, but very hard to do for some people.

Mel: Yeah. And I think it's that thing, isn't it? Where, and I think it's like anything that will work for most of us, but the problem is it's boring and it's Ah, that's

Jen Benfield: Right. No.

Mel: Yeah. Whereas, I mean, there probably is 20% where the other things will work in the same way with your finances, that not everything is for everyone. Mm. But when a guru or someone comes along and says, well, this work for me, and the herd looks and says, oh cool, let's all do it now. I think one of the things that makes me most cranky is the 20 something year old influences giving you fitness and food tips when really I think of myself in my twenties. It's just that you got a great metabolism <laugh>.

Jen Benfield: That's right. That's right. Take

Mel: Me back to that metabolism. Yeah. And it's not to say that they don't know what they're talking about, but sometimes they're saying what works for them when really what's working for them is their 20 something year old, metabolism.

Jen Benfield: That's absolutely correct. And social media is really challenging in terms of keeping people on track. So they'll have a plan. Yeah. And then they'll see something on social media or their friends have told them something in conversation. I saw this on social media. And they'll start going off back in another tangent. Yeah. And that's where things get very confusing and where people go on that rollercoaster ride of on again, off again on again, off again of doing a certain plan. When really if we just stick to the basics, we have a protein forward diet with lots of vegetables and a lot of hydration with sleep optimization, exercise. Those are the things that are the needle movers in health.

Mel: Yeah. And it's so simple, isn't it? Done consistency. Yeah.

Mel: I don't know about you, but sometimes I wish there was an easy way, a silver bullet, a magical unicorn, a fairy godmother ready to grant me three wishes. I mean, think of all the miracle diets, fitness fads, promising a six pack in six weeks, or finance bros promising riches by following this easy formula. Do you believe a word of it?Well, the part that longs for a quick fix might be taken in, but you are smarter than that. Personally, what I believe in is consistency, educating myself, finding an expert to help me, surrounding myself with a community who are going to motivate me to keep going and make me feel like I can do it because they're doing it too or are further down the road than I am. That's exactly what we've created inside the My Financial Adulting Plan. If you feel like you're on top of your finances, you have a plan for this year that you're super comfortable with and have everything you need to make that happen, then just ignore this ad. But for the rest of you, make sure you check out my life-changing 12 week course or for less than the price of a cup of coffee a day. Head to the show notes to join the wait list for the next round. Or you might be lucky enough to find that the doors are open and you can join now.

Mel: I think that when we talk health, I think one of the things that I think is that you just shared an example of, you know, oh, I saw this on social media. Let's go down this bright shiny path. When it comes to other things though, we don't talk about it. And I think about, I went through early menopause and I know you work with a lot of people in their forties, so this is really relevant conversation with what you do. And I didn't know anyone who was going through it. I felt so much shame. I remember when I got given my blood tests bursting into tears. Mm-Hmm. Going, oh my God, this means that I'm old. Like just the shame on it. Mm-Hmm. So I didn't talk to friends about it. And I would say I made a lot of mistakes and I wasted a lot of money 'cause I was chasing, I was desperate to have something that one, reduced my symptoms, but also two gave me back control of my body.

Mel: Again, they were the two things that I was so desperate for. And I look back now and one of the things that I'm grateful for, that I'm seeing happening more and more is that this is a conversation we're starting to have. I know Lawsie, who works with me, she is gonna be so briefed <laugh> on this. She's just turning 40. I'm good sweetheart. This is probably, Peri's probably happening to you now. Yep. Let's chat. So that's right. She's so aware. You work with a lot of women in your forties. I guess what I see is that I kind of look at the menopause conversations and the shame is that the whole thing around money and shame, that it's just another conversation that we're not talking about. Mm-Hmm. But you walk with a lot of women in your forties. Talk to me about how they feel when they work with you, and do you find that experience in common that I had

Jen Benfield: Most women feel out to sea. And how you felt? Mel is still prevailing to a large degree, although makes, makes shame. It's changing. Yeah. Agree. It's changing. They're not sleeping. They're putting on weight and just feel a bit anxious and in some cases depressed, which has a significant impact on the quality of their life. Yeah. And HRT has had so many confusing messages about its efficacy and women just don't know what to do or where to turn. And often their doctors are telling them one thing and then they're seeing something on social media. Yeah. That's saying another thing. Yeah. And then they end up overwhelmed and unresolved in their quest to find an answer. And the reality is, by 2030, it's estimated that there will be over 1.2 billion women worldwide experiencing menopause. Oh

Mel: My God. If a drug company doesn't get behind that, I dunno what's happening.

Jen Benfield: <laugh>. So it's out there. And the symptoms often include the hot flashes, sleep disturbances, the mood swings, the cognitive challenges. I think people really get anxious about all of which can exacerbate the stress associated with managing finances during this life stage.

Mel: Absolutely. Yep.

Jen Benfield: Some women are really confused about HRT and they're scared of it. It's really vital to find a GP who has knowledge in this area because not all doctors, in fact, I don't think any doctors get training in menopause in medical school.

Mel: They don't. I had a conversation on the podcast with people go back a few months ago with Dr. GinnI. She's incredible. And she was saying exactly that she was saying, yeah, doctors don't get training. It's drug companies that provide the training and if drug companies don't think that this is worth it. They're not gonna provide training. Darn.

Jen Benfield: Yeah. And they're still living by this women's health initiative study, which began in 1993, where it found that women taking a combination of estrogen and progestin had a higher risk of breast cancer, heart attack strokes, and blood clots. Now those findings led to this dramatic reduction in the use of HRT. Yeah. And this widespread concern about getting cancer. Mm-Hmm. <affirmative>, but later analysis and the follow-up studies completely refuted a lot of those claims and conclusions. And it showed that the risks and benefits of HRT are more nuanced. Yeah. So it's found that the timing of HRT initiation is crucial. So women who start HRT closer to the onset of menopause may have different health outcomes than those who begin HRT later starting HRT within 10 years of menopause, may provide those protective benefits of heart disease of our brains. And these are the things that is of huge concern for women in particular because there's a 200% increase in dementia in women.

Mel: That's frightening.

Jen Benfield: 200%. Yeah. So I think that what people need to consider is that HRT can be very protective. It's not a cure all. Mm. You still need to have those lifestyle habits supporting a woman's health. Mm. But the risks are carefully weighed based on a woman's health history, their age, and the timing of menopause. So when you get a good doctor, they will go through those things with you.

Mel: Mm-Hmm. It's interesting 'cause I think for a lot of women, even without them knowing it, perimenopause and menopause could be the dragon and it would be affecting everything from how they see themselves at work, which mm-Hmm. <affirmative>, we know the statistics show that women are leaving relationships. They're leaving jobs, they're making financial decisions When we have career gaps and then we have this perimenopause menopause gap, it's just devastating for our finances. Nevermind how much we spend on this.

Jen Benfield: And often in midlife too, Mel. Yes. You would know very much that all these crises for women tend to come in terms of their careers. Yeah. Children, if they have them, they're going to be teenagers, they have aging parents, lots of things going on for them, which often puts their health to the side. Yeah. Whilst they put out all these other fires that are going on. But sometimes you've gotta put the oxygen mask on first.

Mel: Yes.

Jen Benfield: Look after your body and your brain and your spirit first before you can give your best to all those other things which are terribly challenging. Yeah. So particularly with aging parents and teens and kids leaving home, things can be very traumatic and bring up a lot of grief with people.

Mel: And I think that if you are diagnosed with cancer like you were, it's, I think it's very easy to say, I'm going to just shut everything down and we're gonna triage this. We're gonna deal with this and just head straight into it. And it's almost, that's expected if it's dealing with symptoms of perimenopause and menopause. It's just this expectation that you just need to get on with it. Every woman goes through this, zip it and get on with it. And I really want people to hear from our conversation that actually, as you just said, it's about stopping and dealing with this. It's putting your ox realizing that it's okay to put your oxygen mask on with this, that it's okay to fight this dragon and then to figure out the rest. Yeah.

Jen Benfield: Yeah. And I think it's an opportunity too, at this time in our lives to really consider that for a lot of women from, I don't know, say 30 plus, they're very, very invested in careers, family, children, they're very busy. You get to sort of midlife and go, uhoh, hang on, what's going on here? <laugh> things have sort of taken over and I haven't really been navigating this. So it's a calling to action. Yeah. For their health, their purpose, their energy, their connection with themselves, with their social circles. Mm. All of those things become very, very important, particularly as we navigate this next half of life.

Mel: Yeah. No, I completely agree. It's interesting 'cause you said at the beginning that there's the four pillars that you really talk about, which is your mindset, your exercise, your sleep and nutrition. And I absolutely believe that we don't live in a silo. That how we behave in one part of our life, whether it's relationships or food or sleep or exercise, absolutely affects other parts of your life. And and that can definitely affect your finances. And whether that's stress at work, relationships, movement, food, sleep, but also how I see it come out in finances is impulsivity and willpower and limiting beliefs and so much more. I guess my question to you is, with those four things, do you truly believe that better nutrition or regular exercise or eight hours sleep at night can mean you can have better finances?

Jen Benfield: Yeah, I absolutely believe that. 'cause every aspect of our life, including stress at work, relationships, physical movement, food, sleep, can significantly impact our financial being. This interconnectedness means that taking care of our health can lead to better decision making, enhanced resilience to financial stress, and ultimately better financial outcomes. So for example, a positive and growth oriented mindset can influence how we approach financial decisions. So research has shown that individuals with like a growth mindset are more likely to view financial challenges of opportunities for learning and improvement rather than insurmountable obstacles. Mm-Hmm. And that mindset can reduce impulsive spending. And sometimes that mindset of, oh, it's all so bad, I'm just gonna do it anyway. Yes. I'm just gonna buy that. It can encourage more thoughtful, strategic financial planning and high levels of stress can impair your cognitive function leading to that poor financial decision of, ah, bugger, I'm just gonna buy it.

Jen Benfield: Or not having the intention of sitting down and really working through what you can and can't afford. But when individuals practice mindfulness and other stress reduction techniques, they're better equipped to make rational, well-informed financial choices rather than reacting impulsively due to like anxiety or fear. And let's say with physical activity, regular exercise has been shown to improve cognitive function also, which including executive decision making and problem solving ability. So when you're physically active, your brain is better equipped to handle complex financial decisions, manage budgets and plan. And these are all prefrontal cortex functions. So exercise can also boost your energy levels and your productivity, and that can translate to better performance at work and potentially higher earnings. So that increased productivity can also make you more resilient to financial setbacks. And then you're better positioned to recover and thrive. And of course, things like quality sleep is essential for cognitive clarity and decision making, because sleep deprivation leads to impaired judgment and riskier financial behavior like impulsive purchases or poor investment decisions. Mm. And when we prioritize sleep, we can maintain that mental acuity needed to make those sound financial decisions. And of course, when we're sleep deprived, we're emotional. Yeah,

Mel: I know. I am.

Jen Benfield: Totally. So we can prevent stress from spiralling into poor financial choices when we're well rested and more likely to seek the financial plans when we've got that energy to put into it. And with nutrition, it fuels your brain so good omega threes and really good for your brain for cognitive function diets that are really nutrient dense with antioxidants, that all helps support mental clarity and focus. So that's all really crucial for managing finances and threats really. So that whole integration of the four pillars of mindset, exercise, sleep, and nutrition into daily life, people can build resilience through financial stress, any stress, and enhance their really, their overall financial wellbeing. So that approach really helps them to make better decisions. And it also fosters this more balanced the field life. Mm-Hmm. We are managing everything. We're managing ourselves, we're managing our happiness, we're feeling like we're in charge, that we're actually having a sense of power over our life rather than everything happening to us.

Mel: No, that's so important. And I know I'm the one that I used to play state league netball. Now I just think of exercise as a punish. But I absolutely know the difference that I feel when I move. And I think when you talk exercise, you're not talking that we all need to run a marathon For me. No. It's weight training and movement. It doesn't have to be anything crazy <laugh>. No. And I think when people think exercise, they think extreme. It's almost like how society has taught us that versus, well, no, it doesn't have to be.

Jen Benfield: No, that's right. And you're dead. Right. Because I think that's where people go wrong is they think, oh my gosh, I'm gonna have to change so much. Yes.

Mel: Yeah.

Jen Benfield: And they just don't wanna do it. And that's fair enough. But when you start to break it down into one thing at a time Mm-Hmm. And you start to stack those things, like I said originally, it becomes a lot easier. I guess that feeling of like you're getting somewhere of moving forward slowly but gradually you are making gains. And just like you do in the financial world, you can't just put money down and expect results like that. And I think a lot of people do that with their health. They go, right, I'm gonna buy this program. I'm gonna do it for four weeks. That's it. But really it's all about the long term gain of that return on investment of doing the work each week, making sure that you're getting into the habits of eating well, sleeping well, moving well, talking to yourself, well, which women really struggle with me included that little voice in your head. Yeah. That says, oh, why are you doing that? You shouldn't be doing that. All those things that really hold us back from our fulfilled life.

Mel: Yeah, I agree. I'm a big fan of muting people on social media, even if they're helpful, even if they're people you admire, because that whole comparison and that voice can get super loud. But with sleep though, I just wanna dig that out before we finish because when it comes to money, there can be a lot of stress. And some research has come out around the stats that Ellevest has looked into said that almost half of us are losing sleep at least one night a week from worrying about our finances. And we already know some of the things that sleep deprivation has done. Can you talk more about that? But also if I'm someone that I'm listening to you going, yep, sleep. I can see that's important, but I'm worrying about stuff, which means I can't get to sleep. What are some simple things that someone could do and what can they be doing to get that sleep if you are already incredibly stressed?

Jen Benfield: Yeah. Well, it is really challenging, and that's when we really need to have a focus plan, financial stress is really closely linked to mental health disorders like anxiety and depression. And women, especially those dealing with those income disparities or caregiving responsibilities are more prone to experiencing those conditions. And in fact, I think women in Australia are more likely to report high levels of stress than men with financial stress being a significant contributor. I think, like you said, almost half of the population loses sleep at least once a night during the week to financial worries. So chronic sleep disruption is a known risk factor for a range of mental health issues. And it can exacerbate existing conditions too. That constant burden of financial stress can really lead to the development of chronic conditions like hypertension, cardiovascular disease, diabetes, and those chronic conditions play a really major role in the deterioration of someone's health. It's really important to look at a strategy for sleep optimization.

Jen Benfield: And a lot of the time we do focus on that with women because they do struggle with it. Mm. And some of the things that we talk about is breath work. Mm-Hmm. <affirmative>, simple things like box breathing, the 4, 7, 8 of breathing in for four, holding for seven and out for eight. That has an immediate effect on the autonomic nervous system immediate. So if they can do that in cycles of say, three or four, it would just settle down their nervous system at night. So when they hop into bed and go, right, okay, I wanna sleep the night, they can start with that box breathing. They can also practice mindfulness. Even things like, I get my higher exec style ladies and men who put on an eye mask during the day for 10 minutes to do a circuit breaker. A lot of the time people are very, very stressed during the day. They're working, they're making decisions, things are moving very, very quickly. And then they get home and they'll start yelling at everyone.

Mel: Yeah. It's coming out.

Jen Benfield: So exactly. The volcano just explodes when they have that little circuit breaker during the day of just shutting everything off, like sound and light and just doing some box breathing or just sitting there in silence for 10 minutes. It's hard. Doesn't sound like a long time. No,

Mel: That would be a long time to be alone in the dark with your thoughts.

Jen Benfield: Yeah, yeah, yeah. And just breathing, just focusing on your breath. It's a circuit breaker. But then when you get home, you're not losing your load with everyone around you. Yeah. So then when you're getting into bed, things like making sure that your room is very, very dark. Any lights, little tiny lights from phones and laptops or any kind of plugins, they need to go and have block out curtains or shutters and making sure that your room is really cool. That's really important too, because your body needs to drop down a few degrees before you can fall off to sleep. And a lot of women get hot. Yeah. In midlife, having a really nice shower, cool shower before getting into bed, those sorts of things. Also, not going directly from the screen to bed. Mm. Yeah. That's a big one because you just can't go, like let's say you're driving a car at 80 Ks and you just straight into your bedroom and put the breaks on and expect to go to sleep. <laugh>. Yeah.

Mel: Yeah.

Jen Benfield: We wanna try and calm down our nervous system by having a nice shower, putting on your nice creams, making it a bit of a ritual, maybe reading, just to get that brain chatter, the monkey mind to switch off so that we can get into that relaxed state and then go off to sleep.

Mel: There's such good tips. It's such a reminder for me, Jen as well. I've been working really hard on my own sleep and as you are going, I'm like, yep, I'm there. Cold, dark, and the no screens, it was a massive one for me. 'cause I'm on screens all day and then I'd go to TV thinking that I was having a break and then bed. But it's just another screen.

Jen Benfield: Right. And also eating dinner late has a massive impact. Yeah. So if you've got a very, very, very full stomach and you go to bed, your body's focusing on digestion, not on sleep, not rest. Yeah. So if you can have a bit of a gap between eating dinner and going to bed and doing those relaxation rituals or exercises, whatever it may be, bit of yoga, meditation, whatever you enjoy that makes you feel calm, that makes you go, ah, okay, it's time to sleep. Journaling. A lot of women will use that too for just getting that monkey mind, those thoughts down on paper, transferring what's here in your brain onto what's on paper can often be helpful too.

Mel: Yeah. So the to-do list is out of your head or the things you're thinking about is out of your head.

Jen Benfield: Yes.

Mel: Jen, that was such a helpful chat for me. It was just that reminder of so much about not living your life in silos, comparison, the dragon that it's actually okay. And that we should be making sure, like putting that as self-care is to, okay, well, what that is. Yeah. Is it that for us, and it is okay to do something about that. I think as women, we're really bad with that. But to realize, I think the thing that I've taken the most from this is that reminder that we don't live in silos that we can have. Yes, there are the things that we should be doing with our finances, with our health, et cetera, but if we don't have that beautiful foundation, then actually we are building on sand and your foundation of the four`, which is mindset, exercise, sleep, and nutrition is just that really beautiful place that it almost doesn't matter what we were here to talk about, whether it was relationships, but in our, my case, money, I genuinely believe that if we don't have those four things that you talk about right then it's going to affect our finances. It's gonna like trying to drive a car, a wheel flat. So thank you so much.

Jen Benfield: I think there's, yeah, there's a real interconnectedness isn't there?

Mel: Mm.

Jen Benfield: With your financial wellbeing and your physical wellbeing.

Mel: Yeah, absolutely. Thank you for having that conversation with me today. If people, you, I will definitely put down in the show notes where people can find you, but where's the best place that they can come and find more about what you do?

Jen Benfield: Oh, thank you, Mel. They can find me on LinkedIn and they can also find me on Instagram. I do do a little bit on Facebook, but it's not as prevalent as those two.

Mel: Beautiful. I'll pop all of those links and your website down in the show notes as well. Terrific.

Jen Benfield: Thank you. Thank you so much, Mel.

Mel: If you enjoyed this episode, we would love it if you subscribed and give us a review, then make sure you come and play with me on Insta. I'm at @melbrowne.money Remember there's an E on the end of Browne. I'm one of those fancy Browne's, and don't forget to check out the show notes for even more ways you can work with me to transform your finances.

 

 

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