Shaking off unwanted desire

Feb 22, 2024

Over the last week I googled a few things that my google search history has not experienced me searching for before. They included:

* sequined boots

* cowboy boots

* sequined cowboy boots

and many different versions of the above...

Here's the thing.

I don't want sequinned cowboy boots. After the Tay Tay concert on Friday night I would never wear said sequinned cowboy boots ever again but after seeing the many Swifties dressing up in them in Melbourne over the weekend, suddenly, I had to have them.

I should also mention at this point that I'm on a 30 Day Financial detox which means I can't buy any clothes, shoes or books for 30 days.

Yet, I still googled.

What I experienced in that moment was something called mimetic desire.

Mimetic desire simply means we make many of our choices, not because we deeply desire something - but rather we make them according to the desires and choices of others.  It's us learning, through imitation, to want the same things other people want.

Mimetic desire can be seen in everything from the thousands of Swifties buying sequined numbers on fast fashion sites (including a good friend I caught up with recently who was horrified she'd been sucked in and had bought something from Shein for the first time in her life) right through to the car you drive, whether you send your kids to private school (and where), the bag you're carrying right now all the way through to the urge to run a marathon before you turn 40.

Mimetic desire has us unconsciously and consciously looking to others to help us understand what we value and what we think we want.

No different to me looking to the thousands of Melbourne swifties in their sparkly cowboy boots which led me to desire the type of happiness that comes from dressing up with girlfriends and all of us feeling like we belong in the same club when we do.

The irony is that I have spent a long time not wanting to have my fashion choices defined by others and choosing to wear what makes me happy without regard to what anyone else thinks. 

And yet, I still googled sequinned cowboy boots.

My question to you is, are you being hijacked by mimetic desire? Are you basing purchasing decisions on what the herd are doing, what that item signals to others about you or because it's something you really value.

Personally? I don't value sequinned cowboy boots and I believe in sustainability & cost per wear with my fashion choices so I shut down all my searches, shopped my closet and what I'll remember from the night won't be what I wore - it will be the feeling of being part of those tens of thousands of other people, singing wildly to songs we adore.

What about you?

Who is leading your purchasing decisions and do you need to question whether you're in charge of what you desire too?

Jump over to insta and let me know at

PS Want to listen to me talk more about mimetic desire? Head to the episode on my podcast Uncensored Money. Click HERE to listen



Imagine how it would feel if you could financially sort yourself out in 8 weeks. Check out the My Financial Adulting Plan & join over 3,000 others who have transformed their finances.